“She. She’s figured out
All her doubts were someone else’s point of view . . .
Are you locked up in a world that’s been planned out for you?
Are you feeling like a social tool without a use?”
These lines are from the song “She” by Green Day.
These lyrics still hit home for my inner 20-something. And as I turn 54 (what?!?), I realize I’m not stuck in that story—I’m evolving it. NOT stuck there, but living it forward because I’ve done, and I keep doing, my personal growth work.
“I’m not good enough” was what my what I tongue-in-cheek refer to as “#1 on my Top 20 playlist.”
As a person who strived to always be good enough, it was easy to be “locked up” in everyone else’s beliefs for what “good” looked like. I’d just try harder.
Personal growth can feel like déjà vu—old struggles resurface, making us question whether we’ve actually made progress.
If my hardest thing to feel, due to early life experiences, is “good enough,” then many of my challenging moments become about this personal judgment. My child is struggling? I’m not good enough (as a parent or as a loving adult)! The planet is suffering? I’m not good enough at being environmentally friendly. Someone violates my boundaries after setting them clearly? I’m not good enough at communicating in a way others can hear.
But what if the challenge with “I’m not good enough” has actually shifted? Have I even noticed my growth? I often use the analogy of the spiraling mountainside trail when thinking about personal growth. It may look like the same view, but from higher up the mountain, the perspective shifts.
My child is struggling? Instead of questioning my worth, I remind myself—my child is a capable human. My role isn’t to fix everything, but to trust them and support them when needed. The planet is suffering? Let me nurture my corner and cherish it. Someone violates my boundaries after setting them clearly? Maybe it’s a them problem. Let me sit with the situation, clarify where needed, and get more discerned about what’s happening.
That’s a different angle. That’s the evolution of growth.
The same question of “am I good enough” rears its head–it is, after all, a familiar response to stuck points. But with practice and acceptance of my discomfort, I start realizing this is something I can MOVE THROUGH using skill rather than the self-bludgeon of negative self-beliefs.
That’s effectiveness. That’s maturity. That’s the pure alchemy of personal growth.
So yes, I will continue belting out the lyrics to that song, but mostly as a triumphant victory lap as I cheer on that 20-something that started realizing she could “smash [her self-expressive] silence with the brick of self-control.” I celebrate her courage because it made me what I am today.
Happy birthday to me 
What about you? What about you? Which self-doubt replays in your mind? And more importantly, can you see how far you’ve come in rewriting it? Are you starting to honor and recognize your hard work and the progress you’ve made? Can you look back on former versions of yourself and see just how badass they were at breaking patterns? If not, are you ready?