Yes, I am in the middle of a challenging time.
Yes, I’ve had many of them in the last decade of my life.
Yes, because I am a professional who also listens to other people’s hard times, I MUST be meticulous with my self-care so you get the best of me.
So I thought the other day, wouldn’t it be interesting for you to know what my self-care looks like during a rough time? Perhaps I should document it . . .
It’s 2pm today, and I’ve been up a mere 5 hours (not typical, but true today) so far I:
- Foundational practice 1: Got a SOLID night of sleep. Woke and meditated briefly. Fell back asleep 😉
- Foundational practice 2: Ate a healthy meal and made sure to get some sugar-stabilizing protein.
- Foundational practice: Spent only a couple minutes in social media–no one needs that drain.
- Stage 1 (in my Zapped to Zen 201 “Order of Operations”): Danced and shouted to a few P!nk anthems: “I wish someone would have told me that this life is ours to choose . . . Throw your head back, and spit in the wind. Let the walls crack, cuz it lets the light in!”
- Stage 1: Noticed that my heaviness today feels like a rubbery shield from throat to heart. Deeply squatted while belting the songs out, and flung my arms about in the squat. This combination seemed to break through the shield.
- Stage 1 & 2: Decided (no judgment) that I was finally getting those boxes of Christmas décor carried down the stairs (aka heavy lifting).
- Stage 3: Deep breathing a few times already today. The most satisfying breath at the moment is to hold my breath behind pursed lips and then suddenly release it with a “PUH!” sound.
- Stage 2 & 3: Did a few mass clearings of my space (many of our nervous systems like clutter to be cleared PLUS it makes me feel a greater sense of control). Stayed mindful.
- Stage 4: Looked at the schedule for tomorrow and coordinated the caregiving that is needed on a practical level so I know we have thought through the next 24 hours.
- Stage 2: Ran some laundry up and down stairs as an aerobic activity rather than just getting the laundry done.
- Stage 4: Created a plan for my business this week.
- Stage 4: Talked to the person I am concerned about and reminded myself that they really do have this and that my role is support, NOT the person who can do it for them (some reframing in my mind).
- Stage 1 & 3: Received multiple bear hugs from my partner.
- Stage 4: Placed my Kroger order so that we can eat healthy again tonight. Food has been too much of a fast feed even lately, and I need healthy eating!
And next up that I know for certain I will do:
- Foundational practice: Take a walk around the neighborhood.
- Foundational practice: Go for a magnesium float and sensory deprivation.
- Stage 2: Do some push-ups
- Stage 4: Journaling.
- Foundational practice: Continue with nourishing meals and go to bed early tonight.
Mind you, this is interspersed with my workday and with caring for someone. I have seen a couple clients already today (a lighter load). I am sprinkling my care throughout the day, and choosing my activities through a combination of experience and mindful awareness of my body’s needs.
I literally interweave things like this throughout my day every day, but especially when things are challenging. Like the other day when I first thought of this, I documented a 3-hour window:
- Stage 1 & 4: Talked to someone who steadied me for 30 minutes, and gained clarity on next steps. Walked fast laps around the house while talking to get the energy out.
- Stage 3: Played white noise and engaged deep breathing and meditation in a hospital waiting room.
- Stage 1: Push ups and squats against the car frame in the parking lot.
- Stage 3: Deep breathing again, paired with some “sipping breaths.”
- Stage 4: Implemented the first 2 steps of the plan and monotasked an activity that I would normally multitask. Reduced my schedule for the week.
As you can see, I am constantly making decisions informed by mindfulness of my body response and science of the nervous system and the bodymind.
When done intentionally, these simple choices add up to a body that feels its safety needs are seen and tended to WITHOUT sizeable investments of time. Instead, it’s truly as simple as basic body maintenance like breathing or eating!