As I watched Facebook light-up with Simone Biles clips, I have started reflecting on what we expect out of performers and athletes, and women in general.

I was shocked to see so many people label her as an “over-rated” athlete. How quickly we are willing to erase decades of focused development and training!

And why? Because she made the wise choice to protect her emotional health? Because she knew that doing so not only would help her mentally, but also physically? Because it allowed another teammate to pick up her position and shine?

“Lessons”:

• Your mental health does not matter.
• Your focused and sustained effort to become the best (with neutral observers concurring) can and should be erased by my armchair opinion. “Meh” is the great social media eraser.
• We don’t even notice that athletic prowess is equal parts physical and head game.
• And once you are a public figure (and in particular, a female public figure), the public has ultimate rights to dictate the use of your body & your talent.

[Lesson to self: People will talk. Keep walking your walk. No one knows what’s best for you. Keep soaring.]

So then my mind goes to other women who soar.j

May I present the fall and winter saga of people telling Taylor Swift “please take less space by not showing up to your life with your boyfriend” as evidence of the last one?

(And can she ever clap back—You Need to Calm Down.)

[Lesson to self: Acknowledge it when it happens to you. Name it to tame it, and never get smaller for another’s comfort.]

Or Miley Cyrus who isn’t just singing but doing it on a treadmill at full volume while buying her own damn flowers.

[Lesson to self: Well, frankly, I already buy myself flowers, but GURRRLLL do I want that level of fitness.]

Or P!nk, queen of “my brand of screwed up is good enough” and aerial gymnast on stage, who has been baited over and over to start fights with other female performers. She stops those conversations in their tracks. AND she tours with her family with the soul purpose of showing them they can make their own way in the world and chase their passions!

[Lesson to self: Use your voice to do what’s right, and do it with spunk. Model what you care about.]

So let me just say to look toward these female athletes/performers to know:

• You matter.
• Your voice matters.
• Your mental health matters.
• Your passion matters.
• Everyone freaking matters.
• You need to silence the naysayers before they take residence in your brain.
• And while these women have a bigger stage than many of us, they are using it to model solid and self-informed self-care.

So find yourself a role model who truly holds herself and her values in high regard, and channel that strength!

(Can I recommend this group of World Changing Women for starters?)

It could be your neighbor. It could be the Holy Mother. It could be a flawed but endeavoring version of yourself from previous times in life.

Just FIND those role models and NEVER EVER buy into talk that tears a woman with power down!